Spiders. Thera-flu. Hallucinations likely.

Before I begin, let me just state that I am coasting on thera-flu right now, so you might want to just not read this if you don't want to hear me babble about my paralyzing fear of spiders..

Spiders. Yeesh.
I had to search wikipedia to provide you with a general visual and scientific names and such of today's topic: cellar-spiders.

Story:
My Dear Housemate and I were talking, and I turned on the bedside lamp to read. Inside of the lampshade was one of these spiders. Just like in Arachnophobia. I saw that movie when I was... young, and frankly I still check every lamp most of the time. At my parent's house and at the house I'm at now, I have suspect lamps that I check more often for spiders, but anyway.

I told my friend that there was a spider in the lamp, and he walked across the room.
"Huh," he said. "Yup."

Later on, I insisted he kill the spider. Or relocate it. Just get it out of my lamp! But he asked why I couldn't do it myself. It wasn't hurting me in the lamp, he said. And I squash ants all the time, come on, I can handle a spider.
No. Ants don't even see you coming. Spiders know! They have eight eyes. And fangs. And two more legs than ants, so they are faster. I probably didn't say all of this out loud, but it was deeply embedded in my squash first, ask questions later reasoning. Also, I didn't want to burn myself on the lightbulb.
And finally, I played the gender card. It was his duty to kill the spider, he's the man. I played this a lot in college with my manly housemates as well. It worked, sometimes.

I guess the cellar-spider thought this was sexist or something, because after the argument was over and it seemed like I won (he was going to put it out on the porch), the spider was nowhere to be found. Just packed up and moved the entire house! No web, even!

What a wasted victory.