I am rather suspicious of the fact that barely any pictures come up of the actual product outside of the wrapper. Maybe they are trying to hide something? The greasy sheen? The wrinkled texture?
...The fact that it's a cylinder of meat?
It's either the packaging or that obnoxious mascot they had a while ago. You know, the commercials where he would leap into your stomach and kick the crap out of your stomach lining and yell a lot at you. A very alarming commercial really. And he yells at you to "snap" into a slim jim. This food does not snap. It bends and twists. It also will shine up your skin really nice with a somewhat slimy residue. This is reminding me of an animal...
Ah yes, the hagfish.
"When captured and held e.g. by the tail, they secrete the microfibrous slime, which expands into a gelatinous and sticky goo when combined with water; if they remain captured, they can tie themselves in an overhand knot which works its way from the head to the tail of the animal, scraping off the slime as it goes and freeing them from their human captor, as well as the slime."
MMMM!!!! Thanks for reading!
Here's a cartoon!
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